Llera: Anxiety researchers define worry as a sequence of repetitive thoughts and mental images focused on threatening issues, that have uncertain but possibly negative outcomes. To put it another way, worry is like talking to yourself about something that makes you anxious, and often imagining all the ways it can go wrong. Worry is also accompanied by negative emotion and feelings of arousal, all of which can lead to an increase in anxiety.
For many of us, worry is a daily experience even in the best of times, and if you tend to be an anxious person it may feel like your worries have just amplified exponentially.
TU Newsroom: Why do some people have a hard time turning off their worries? Llera: Despite the fact that worry makes us feel bad, many people have positive beliefs about their worries. For one, people may believe that worry is a way to keep their emotional guard up. Indeed, research shows that if you worry before a negative event, you're less likely to respond to that event with a burst of negative emotion.
For example, let's say you're really worried that you may have failed an exam, and when you get the results you see that you did in fact fail.
In this case, you may avoid the sudden surge of disappointment you would have felt if you'd been hoping for the best. That's because all that worrying got you into a negative emotional state already - so when the bad thing happened you just kept feeling bad. And people who are naturally high worriers report they actually prefer it that way, because worrying about things helps them feel braced for the worst. Podcasts are no substitute for treatment but they can provide helpful tools to manage anxiety.
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One of the most confusing feelings is when you feel both calm and anxious at the same time. It can seem like a tug-of-war at times. The best thing you can do to assuage financial worries is to get a good handle on your actual financial situation and make a solid plan and budget. Worry about losing your job?
This stress gets even worse as pressures at work increase, causing people to feel as if their job is at risk if they do not perform to a certain standard, not to mention the external pressures when the economy slows and the job market becomes even more competitive. Again, a pragmatic approach can work wonders in alleviating work related anxiety. Build strong lines of communication between you and your employer.
Ensure you know exactly what is expected of you and request regular annual or six monthly performance appraisals to allow you to outline your successes and get constructive pointers on areas for improvement. Those who are single worry about finding a partner, while for those in a relationship, it is common to worry about how secure the bond is or where the relationship is going.
Strained relationships with family, children, colleagues and friends can also weigh heavily on your mind. Communication is key to solving relationship problems too. Unfortunately, for most of us, this is an insanely hard task—to just feel our emotions without thinking about them. But this is the task. If we want to be able to not engage in worry and rid ourselves of all the anxiety and stress that comes with it, we must be willing to feel and be with our uncomfortable emotions, especially helplessness.
So start small, and be patient. Notice little fragments of worry here and there. Notice yourself being pulled by years of habit to start thinking and worrying. Then choose something different. Then choose to re-direct your thoughts and behavior elsewhere. If you want a more structured approach to doing this, mindfulness is a great exercise for learning to accept how we feel and break the habit of worry.
We worry for the same reason that we eat junk food—because it feels good. In the short-term, anyway. And it feels good because it distracts us and gives us relief from the pain of helplessness. In order to overcome this habit of worry and all the anxiety and suffering that goes along with it, we must be willing to feel helpless and accept it. Mindfulness is a great way to practice that in a more structured way. Acceptance is key, mindfulness helped me do this.
And fitting positive and negative reinforcement in here is really interesting! Amazing article! Thanks Nick! Thanks Nick for this great insight.
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